Endemic

Protect Your Dwindling Sunlight

I did this drawing in early April, experimenting with pencils and stamping and ink. I had an interesting subject matter, I thought, something new: an epidemic. Soon it was known as a pandemic, kind of an 'epidemic on steroids'.

The figure is some part of me that wanted to burrow underground. To protect myself with a shell of earthly elements. And even now when I look at it I waver between two responses: In the first response I feel that the figure is beautifully protected so that the virus cannot reach it, but almost immediately I feel a sense of claustrophobia, as if the figure is caught after a mine closure.

And maybe that is how we are all feeling by this time: Let me stay in my house so I can be sure I am safe, and Oh my God, is my life over now, even if the virus doesn't reach me? All the visions I had of travel. All the huge paintings I was going to create. My dream of going to France, my on-going work to master that language and its constantly expanding demands.

Now I look at my drawing and praise it for being such a successful catalyst for thought, and mood. Yes, a catalyst for mood. And in that way, it is just like the pandemic: it calls on me to discover myself. Will I be strong and optimistic? Or will it lead me to discovering a part of myself that embarrasses me? Will it reveal my inability to hold strong during tough times? In reality all possibilities are in each one of us. Sure, we can be frightened like children and run and hide under the bed. But we can also be strong and optimistic. The week has seven days, we can have a different response every day of the week, because we are human beings with a universe of changing moods and ideas within each one of us.

I hope the drawing will prove a powerful place of meditation for anyone who sees it. Ask yourself, what protects me? The love of others, my determination to have the future I want, the patience I learn daily.

As they say, this will be a marathon, discover all the layers and colors of your being.