Spirits Now and Gone
Recently I held a focus group to go more deeply into issues of aging and self-identity. I’m grateful to the women who took part, we had an amazing evening of unexpected experiences. They had followed my request to bring an item from their closet: an accessory or piece of jewelry (something that could be exchanged despite differences in age or size). I asked them to choose something that had had meaning at one time, and now symbolized a part of them that no longer existed. It had to be an item they were ready to release.
Memory I
We shared the stories of the objects and how they’d come into their lives. Many spirits moved through the circle. There were children who’d grown up, relatives both living and dead. Occasions and events were named as part of the stories connected to the objects on the altar. We talked about the feelings that come with letting go. There were phrases like, “it’s just not me, now”, “I just don’t wear it any more”, “I kept it because of the connection to the person who gave it to me, but that person is no longer in my life.”
I talked a little bit about how the things we own, especially the things we wear are the costuming of our movie. And without stopping occasionally to consciously check in with our values and personality, our own reflection can deceive us, when we’re dressed up as the person we used to be.
The objects were placed on the altar, and I asked them to write answers to a few questions, one of which was: What does releasing this object open for you?
Then each woman chose one object to take home with her. I asked a few more provocative questions, and after the writing period we opened the discussion and they shared their answers. The connections to receiving a new possession were as interesting as the releasing. One thing that will forever be true, those objects will never be meaningless. They will always vibrate with the stories and energies shared that night.
One woman, for example chose a hat. When the hat had been placed on the altar she learned that it had once belonged to a woman who’d been courageously fighting a debilitating illness nearly all her life. The hat seemed to symbolize courage and fortitude. When our group member put it on, I said, “Now you have a power object. You can wear it whenever you need courage.”
Each person revealed things about herself that she hadn’t put into words before, or just hadn’t had the right time to name. We talked about the power of wearing certain colors, and how our tastes had changed as we’d matured.
At the end of the evening, I was surprised that they all said they’d like to meet again. I hadn’t anticipated that. When I asked why, I heard things like: “I feel so supported”, “I hadn’t stopped to think about these things,” “I have so much stuff to let go of still in my closet, and I’d like to keep this consciousness process in my mind.”
Some did clear closets and drawers on the following weekend. Others just cherished the evening’s experience. The work will continue from here. If you feel you’d like to take part, please contact me.